We’ve all used them from time to time. They are called ‘malaprops.’ These are words that are unintentionally misused by confusing two different words with similar sounds.
The legendary comedian, Norm Cosby, was famous for his use of malaprops. He would always speak from this ‘diagram’ and drink ‘decapitated coffee.’ Even Gilda Radner’s character on Saturday Night Live, Emily Litella, was a master of malaprops; “What’s all this fuss I keep hearing about endangered feces?” But as funny as they are to comic skits and standup routines, malaprops have no place on a resume. Unless, of course, your objective is not to land the job you are seeking.
Confusing words and twisting speech is really rather easy to do, especially when typing. Sometimes your fingers just move faster then your brain, taking on a life of their own. Before you know it, you have typed ‘rabid’ instead of ‘rapid.’ And Spell Check can’t rescue you from the dreaded malaprops, because these are words that are found in the dictionary. You have just misused them.
Here are a few resume and cover letter bloopers that I have encountered in my career. Funny as they are to read here, thankfully the client asked me to proof and rewrite before a prospective employer ever had the opportunity to laugh outloud and then throw the resume in the slush pile.
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Skilled at pubic [public] speaking and lecturing.
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Recognized as an academic lecher [lecturer].
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I have archived [achieved] national recognition for my articles on behavioral science.
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Detail-oriented professional with ability to asses [assess] situations and provide viable solutions.
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Brain [Brian] Campbell
Served as media advisor for the Democratic Champagne [Campaign]. -
Served as Baseball Couch [Coach] for Little League team.
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Crated [Created] the design concept used for the prototype.
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Provided sign language translation for the death [deaf].
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Posses strong work ethnics [ethics] in meeting company’s objectives.
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I am writhing [writing] to express my interest the position of Account Executive.
So, how do you avoid malaprops, you ask? Very simple.
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Read and re-read your resume and cover letter.
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Sleep on it. Lay it aside for a day and proof the following morning.
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NEVER RELY TOTALLY ON SPELL CHECK.
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Read your resume backwards. That’s right. Start at the last word and proof your resume starting at the end of your document and working to the front.
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Ask someone else to proof your resume and cover letter. A second pair of eyes are always helpful.
It’s a fact of life that mistakes are going to happen. But when you are trying to impress a prospective employer with your ability to be “detail-oriented” and “meticulous” about your work ethics, the smallest error on your resume can simply send the wrong message.
